Save Me
by Markee
Summary: "Of course she'd be there, hidden behind rows and rows of books. She surrounded herself with books, making a barrier, a sort of warning that she didn't want to be bothered. She wasn't reading, she was just sitting there, her eyes glazed over"
1. Chapter 1

I usually hate songfics. I think they are pointless. However this song just really inspired me to write this story. Its called Save Me by Nicki Minja. Yes I usually don't like all her rapping and stuff, but this song is really good. I wish this was better, but honestly I just wanted to get this thought out of my head.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything but my story.

He found her in the library. Of course she'd be there, hidden behind rows and rows of books. She surrounded herself with books, making a barrier, a sort of warning that she didn't want to be bothered. She wasn't reading, she was just sitting there, her eyes glazed over. She hadn't looked good in the past weeks. There were dark bags underneath her eyes, her hair was unruly and looked worse than usual. She looked older in a way, she looked like she had seen all the horrors in the world and had to carry them on her shoulders. In a way she had seen many horrors, yet it she wasn't the one responsible for them. But she liked to tell herself that she was, it made it easier to deal with the guilt of their deaths. The first time it happened he tried to forget it.

_Hermione sat on the floor, in the middle of all her books. She wasn't reading any of them, she just used them as protection from the world. She just looked down at her lap, nothing was there yet she looked so concentrated. _

_Draco needed a book for his potions project, and it so happened that it was one of the books that Hermione was using to barricade herself. Without caring he grabbed a book, thinking she wouldn't notice. _

_Right when his fingers grabbed the book, Hermione lunged forward, keeping the book from leaving her circle. _

"_Granger, you psychopath! Watch what your touching, you almost dirtied my robs. Now give me that book, I can see it isn't any use to you other than being a barrier. You can always get another."_

"_I can't, I NEED this book. There's an order to which it goes. Without this book my circle will be incomplete and it won't work correctly." Hermione spoke those words in such a broke voice that Draco just wanted to leave, he actually felt pity for the girl. However, his Malfoy pride wouldn't let him back down._

"_Granger stop with your damn nonsense bef…" Before he had a chance to finish _

"_Draco, please." And that was the first time she ever said his first name. Even when they fought in battles it was still Malfoy, even after they had spent that one night together, it was still Malfoy. Not that he minded, sticking to last names always kept things simpler. But hearing his first name come out of her mouth, it froze him._

_He bent down so he'd be eye level with her. He reached out over the books, but she flinched away from his touch. _

"_Granger…" He watched her shrink away from him. She reminded him of a startled bunny, her eyes wide with fear, her body as far away from him as possible. Yet there was something else in her eyes, something like a brokenness only worse. Not knowing what to do he stood up and left the library soundlessly. _

After that he had avoided her at all cost. The hardest part wasn't avoiding her, she never showed up to classes anymore. But with every absence Draco thought more and more of her. It was getting to a point where he would see her broken face in his dreams. He knew he had to see her again; however he tried to pretend he didn't need her. However, things never worked his way when he had to deal with her.

_He wondered the halls, not planning on going anywhere unparticular. It was an odd feeling, knowing exactly where he wanted to go, yet trying to distract his mind from allowing him to go to the actual place. However hard he tried to concentrate, he wound up back at the library. He convinced himself that it was because he needed a quiet place to do his homework, but before he knew it his feet took him to the place where he knew Hermione would be. He just stood there and watched her. If she knew he was there or not, she didn't let on. Finally he got the courage to crouch next to her, and reached for a book. This action caused her to look up at him. He let his hand fall limply to his side. They just stayed staring at each other for a while, when suddenly tears poured down Hermione's face. However her facial expression didn't change. She kept staring into his grey eyes. It was as if her eyes were looking into his soul and she was crying the tears he couldn't._

"_Granger, why are you crying." His voice was hoarse as he said these words, and his voice almost cracked when he said the last word._

"_Draco, please." And with those two words he was lost again. He felt like she was pulling him down with her, he felt suffocated and he needed to leave before he drowned in her sorrows. He stood up and walked quickly back to his common room, needing something or someone to distract him._

He knew this time was different, he could just feel it in his heart. He thought he might actually be in love with Hermione. Maybe he was just falling in love with her helplessness. She was so vulnerable and he felt like it was his duty to protect her. He walked into the library and went straight to the row she had occupied. Luckily for them, no one was in the library, just them.

He crouched down and looked at her. She looked like hell, she hadn't moved in a week. He looked at her and before they both had time to register what he was doing, he broke her circle, throwing all the books away from her.

She lunged for the books, but her body was broken. Unable to rebuild the barrier quick enough she started to cry. Not silent tears that Draco had witnessed before, but the tears of a broken soul, a broken girl. After ten minutes Draco was scared that she wasn't going to stop. However after ten more minuets she finally calmed down, and was silently wept.

"Granger, what has happened to you?"

"Draco please."

"No! It will not work this time."

"This time, please… please, save me"

"Granger, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I can feel myself giving up." With that she looked into his eyes, and it was as if he could read her thoughts. He knelt down next to her and gathered her into his arms. It was different from the first time they had done it. The first time it was to be able to make it through the days, it was something both people needed and wanted it. It was a mutual agreement between them two that it wouldn't change things, that it wouldn't mean more than what it actually is. But not, with every touch, every kiss, every movement he was trying to breathe life back into her. They both knew it was too late, but they still went through the motions. He needed to do this to know that he at least tried; she couldn't take it away from him.

After it was all done, Draco stared at her, his expression clearly readable however she just didn't have the energy to read it.

"Granger... Hermione, I think I love you." And with those final words he left her, she slowly built back her barrier, but she left one book out, the book Draco had wanted. She simply sat there, waiting, waiting for the boy who would never return. And she knew he would never come back, but maybe he'd know she was waiting, and it'd make a difference for him.


	2. REDONE

So I finally got back into my old email and saw how popular this story had become. Well maybe not popular, but it got the most hits and favorites out of all my stories. So I read it again and I was appalled at my grammar, lack of back story, and just with the story in general. So I've decided to rewrite it! Of course I'll keep the original story up. But I just wanted to try and do something better with my original concept. So without further ado! (:

DISCLAIMER: I own the plot and that's it.

He found her sitting on the floor in the library. Of course she'd be there, hidden behind rows and rows of old dark dusty books. She had surrounded herself with the books, making a barrier, a sign that she didn't want to be bothered. And most people respected her wish that is if they ever went that deep into the library, which luckily for Hermione, they didn't. He realized she wasn't reading any of the books she just sat there, her once chocolate brown eyes now dull and glazed over. She hadn't looked good in weeks. There were deep, dark bags under her eyes, giving a false look of two black eyes. Her hair that she had gone to great measures to tame had now returned to its natural frizzy bird nest like texture. Studying her appearance he realized that she looked older in a way, like she had seen all the horrors in the world and had to carry them on her shoulders. And in a way she had. She liked to tell herself was responsible for them, not Harry, not Ron, not the Order, not even Voldemort, just her. It made the guilt she felt a little easier to deal with that way. He hated that she thought that way, actually now that he thought about it; it was what kept him from even being able to get close to her.

They hadn't always been like this, they had once been friends, and maybe even lovers had fate allowed it. But as luck would have it the war had cost them their future together. She had always seen the good in him. It was in her nature to figure things out and once she knew the truth she wouldn't let anything sway her. Sadly he was one of those things that she had found out the truth about. She noticed it before even he had, that he was good.

_It was a dark cold night, and as expected most kids were either in their common rooms with friends or had already retired to their beds. But just as Hermione was going to head back to her common room, she ran into a certain blonde slytherin. Maybe because it was late and she was running on pure adrenaline, or maybe it was the fact that she could tell he was already broken, but either way she had gained the courage to say to him what she had realized weeks ago._

"_Malfoy, I know the truth. As much as you try to be, as much as they try to brain wash you into thinking that you are, you are not a death eater."_

"_You know nothing Granger," He sneered as he lifted up his sleeve showing her the dark mark that ruined his flawless pale skin. Although his sneer faltered as he noticed her expression wasn't what he had thought it'd be, instead of disgust and fear, he saw pity and sadness._

"_Just because you bear THEIR mark, doesn't mean you're like them."_

"_That's bullshit and you know it!"_

"_Then why didn't you kill Dumbledore? Why didn't you kill him when you had the chance? No one but your precious death eaters would've known. It wouldn't have changed your peer's attitude towards you. It might have even raised your rank. However you hesitated and didn't do it."_

"_That's because I was weak back then Granger, but now I'm not. And if you keep on talking out of your ass about things you know nothing about don't think I won't hesitate to kill you. As I'm sure you know that'll raise my ranks quite nicely"_

"_But you will hesitate Malfoy, because you're not a killer. The fact that you didn't kill Dumbledore proves it. There's good in you Draco Malfoy. I just hope you can find it before it gets too late" And with that Hermione slowly took a step towards him. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder and used it as a boost to give him a kiss on the cheek. And before he could even process everything that happened, she was gone._

He shook his head of the memory. He didn't like to remember their time together; it was just too much heartache to do so. It was always easier to just pretend it never happened. Hermione sat on the floor, in the middle of all her books. She wasn't reading any of them she just used them as protection from the world. She just looked down at her lap, nothing was there yet she looked so concentrated. Draco needed a book for his potions project, and it so happened that it was one of the books that Hermione was using to barricade herself. Without caring he grabbed a book, hoping and praying she wouldn't notice. However, right when his fingers grabbed the book, Hermione lunged forward, keeping the book from leaving her circle.

"Granger, you psychopath! Watch what you're touching, you almost dirtied my robes. Now give me that book, I can see it isn't any use to you other than being a barrier. You can always get another."

"I can't, I NEED this book. There's an order to which it goes. Without this book my circle will be incomplete and it won't work correctly." Hermione spoke those words in such a broken voice that Draco just wanted to leave, she was tugging at his heart strings, and seeing her look so broken and dejected made him want to scoop her into her arms and hold her till all her pain went away. But he didn't. Because he was stubborn and he'd be damned if he let her or himself realize the feelings he still harbored for her.

"Granger stop with your damn nonsense bef…" and before he had a chance to finish she spoke again.

"Draco, please." And that was the first time she ever said his first name. Even when they fought in battles it was still Malfoy, even after they had spent that one night together, it was still Malfoy, even when they had become friends, and it had always been Malloy. Not that he minded sticking to last names always kept things simpler; there was less attachment that way. But hearing his first name come out of her mouth, it froze him. In the past it had been something he had wished to hear, at least just once. But hearing it now sent shivers down his back and goose bumps down his arms. Before he had a chance to register what he was doing he bent down so he was eye level with her. He reached out over the books, but she flinched away from his touch.

"Granger…" He watched her shrink away from him. She reminded him of a startled bunny, her eyes wide with fear, and her body as far away from him as possible. Yet there was something else in her eyes, something like brokenness only worse. Finally realize what he was attempting to do; he stood up quickly walking away from her as fast as he could manage while keeping his composure, his needed potions book long forgotten.

_They had been walking down the hall together, it was way past curfew and they both knew no one would come to that part of the castle anyways. It was one of the rare moments they let themselves go, put all their fears on the table and just confess everything they would never admit to. Hermione stopped and leaned against a wall, staring up at Draco as he took his place, standing in front of her, shielding her from anyone who would pass._

"_Malfoy, if you're side wins the war, what do you think will happen to me?"_

_Without thinking or taking the time to process what he was doing, he answered her with the truth._

"_It'll be like a never ending circle for you Granger. You'll be beaten, raped, and tortured till you beg for death. But it'll never come because it'd be a waste to dispose of such a pretty little mudblood, the once called finest witch of our age."_

_His voice was cold, filled with hate and remorse. He finally looked into her eyes and saw something he would've never expected to see, he saw brokenness. And it scared him._

"_But of course Granger, you're side will win and me and my lovely comrades will be thrown into Azkaban." _

"_You can't be sure though. At least if my side wins there will be justice for all, with your side it's just a disgusting attempt at survival of the fittest."_

"_Disgusting maybe, but it's our tradition to feel the way we do. It's like asking muggles to give up all sports. They can't do it, because they need to feel like someone if superior. They need to know who is superior and they want proof."_

"_So this is what this war is to you? A sport to see whose superior?" _

"_Yes."_

_And with his final word he bent down and kissed her, letting her pour all of her worries and brokenness into him. He didn't mind it though; usually it was him filling her up with his doubts. It was nice to be the one needed for once, it made him feel human, and a feeling he had long ago lost. _

_That was the first night they had sex. They didn't sugar coat it and say made love because in fact neither knew if they were capable of love. Her being secretly broken and always thinking the war wouldn't end in her favor. And him trying to convince himself that he felt the same as those who bore his mark, just so he'd feel a little less guilty every time he'd look at himself in the mirror._

After that he had avoided her at all cost. The hardest part wasn't avoiding her, she never showed up to classes anymore. But with every absence Draco thought more and more of her. It was getting to a point where he would see her broken face in his dreams. He knew he had to see her again; however he tried to pretend he didn't need her. However, things never worked his way when he had to deal with her.

He wondered the halls, not planning on going anywhere unparticular. It was an odd feeling, knowing exactly where he wanted to go, yet trying to distract his mind from allowing him to go to the actual place. However hard he tried to concentrate, he wound up back at the library. He convinced himself that it was because he needed a quiet place to do his homework, but before he knew it his feet took him to the place where he knew Hermione would be. He just stood there and watched her. If she knew he was there or not, she didn't let on. Finally he got the courage to crouch next to her, and reached for a book. This action caused her to look up at him. He let his hand fall limply to his side. They just stayed staring at each other for a while, when suddenly tears poured down Hermione's face. However her facial expression didn't change. She kept staring into his grey eyes. It was as if her eyes were looking into his soul and she was crying the tears he couldn't.

"Granger, why are you crying?" His voice was hoarse as he said these words, and his voice almost cracked when he said the last word.

"Draco, please." And with those two words he was lost again. He felt like she was pulling him down with her, he felt suffocated and he needed to leave before he drowned in her sorrows. He stood up and walked quickly back to his common room, needing something or someone to distract him.

_After the first time, it became a nightly habit of theirs. They craved the physical contact that allowed them to forget just who they were and what time they were really in. But sometimes one of them would push an issue too far, or try to involved emotions and it would taint the night._

"_Granger, why don't you ever call me by my first name?"_

"_Because you've never called me by mine. And what's wrong with the way things are now, we should stick to what we're used to. There's no point in trying to change our pattern now."_

"_You're right, but I just figured with our relationship…"_

"_Stop right there. This is not a relationship, we're just two people finding comfort in the time of an impending war. That's all."_

_And with that said Hermione stood up, and made her way back down the hall. She didn't care look back, fearing that if she did she would have taken everything she had said back in an instant and confessed her love for him. But this was neither the time nor place for such things. However she would always regret it. If she had known that that was going to be the last time she was going to see him until after the war, she would have stayed with him longer, found more solace in his company. Maybe she would have even told him that their nights had meant the world for her, just like she knew they did for him._

He knew this time was different, he could just feel it in his heart. He thought he might be in love with Hermione again, or maybe it had never gone away. She was so vulnerable and he felt like it was his duty to protect her, like she had done for him. He walked into the library and went straight to the row she had occupied. Luckily for them, no one was in the library, just them.

He crouched down and looked at her. She looked like hell, she hadn't moved in a week. He looked at her and before they both had time to register what he was doing, he broke her circle, throwing all the books away from her.

She lunged for the books, but her body was weak from not being used in a week. Unable to rebuild the barrier quick enough she started to cry. Not silent tears that Draco had witnessed before, but the loud heart wrenching body shaking tears of a broken soul, a broken girl. After ten minutes Draco was scared that she wasn't going to stop. However after ten more minuets she finally calmed down, and was silently wept.

"Granger, what has happened to you?"

"Draco please."

"No! It will not work this time."

"This time, please… please, save me"

"Granger, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I can feel myself giving up." With that she looked into his eyes, and it was as if he could read her thoughts. He knelt down next to her and gathered her into his arms. It was different from the first time they had done it. The first time it was to be able to make it through the day, it was something both people needed and wanted it. It was a mutual agreement between them two that it wouldn't change things that it wouldn't mean more than what it actually is. However after that first time it had changed things, it had altered both of them, it was the reason why she needed him so badly this time. With every touch, every kiss, every movement he was trying to breathe life back into her. They both knew it was too late, but they still went through the motions. He needed to do this to know that he at least tried; she did have the heart or the energy to take it away from him.

After it was all done, Draco stared at her, his emotions clearly readable however she just didn't have the bravery to read it. Had she, she would have seen some of her own brokenness a part she could no longer feel because he took it from her.

"Granger... Hermione, I think I love you." And with those final words he left her, she slowly built back her barrier, but she left one book out, the book Draco had wanted. She simply sat there, waiting, waiting for the boy who would never return. And she knew he would never come back, but maybe he'd know she was waiting, and it'd make a difference for him.


End file.
